Over Mothered Women / Daddy Issues

Disclaimer – this is written from being an observer without knowing what its like for the girl on the inside other than the deep insights that have been shared with me over the years.

In yesterdays “Over mothered boys” post I shared that “Men who have not separated psychology will inevitably have issues in their relationships with women, such as not be able to build deep connections. This translates just as easily into women who have unresolved issues with the father or absent father figure – a very similar issue will surface within this and future relationships.

Without that healthy masculine growing up a woman will almost constantly be in her masculine energy, which she often feels tired all the time, especially if her core is feminine.” I Decided I would delve deeper into women on a separate post, so here it is.

A girl who grows up with little to no healthy masculine male role models will often be in her masculine for one of 3 underlying reasons, (or a mix of 2).

1) Absence of father figure, without a healthy masculine male father figure she will grow up observe mum doing everything, at the same time as not having a male provide her with a safe space to be vulnerable in her femininity. Before anyone decides to castrate me yes mum can and does provide this space too though it doesn’t show her how it feels to have a male provide it for her. She will learn to get on and get stuff done, to achieve and do it all herself, not allowing a man to do anything for her.

Offers of help will likely be taken as an attack on her ability to do things and attack him for suggesting such things, (this can be especially hurtful if his love language is acts of service) It shows up in the business and career zone also. Femininity and vulnerability will be seen as a sign of weakness with this one. She will often attract men who are in their feminine or over mothered men, Yet she desires a man who is more masculine than she is, any man who comes along with an interest in a relationship will have to prove his manliness to her and have many tests for him. These tests will be to see if she can emasculate him, if she can she walks away.

2) Emasculated daddy. With a daddy who has been emasculated (or naturally more feminine) She will have daddy wrapped around her little finger, She learns by observing mum (who is more in her masculine) mum & dad may argue at times though most times dad will back down, with this she learns men do as women say and learns women are in control and take the lead. While dad does do things for mum & daughter it is more obligation to avoid argument that out of desire to serve. As she grows just like mum she will be in her masculine energy and will attract men who will follow her instruction. If her core energy is actually feminine as with no1 she will still crave that healthy masculine energetically but fear being out of control thinking its not right.

3) The abusive dad. growing up with an abusive dad, whether it is mental, physical or emotional, have similar effects. The girl growing up with an abusive dad (or mum) is one who grows up with a lot of fear. If she grows up observing dad being abusive to mum, to her it will be normal though she will feel it is wrong, to others outside will be abusive & wrong there is little she can do to change the situation even though she wishes it be different. She will be fearful that she may receive abuse, and fearful if she does or says anything dad doesn’t like he may take it out on mum.

As she grows up, her unconscious mind will have been programmed to say be wary of men as they cause hurt or pain. She will live on edge and in her masculine energy. She will also mainly attract men who line up with this belief also or she may attract men who are in their feminine. (we don’t attract what we want we attract what we fell we are/ what we focus on) In dating she will often be on guard finely attuned to the tiniest little thing which maybe associated with the type of man her dad was. If she gets in a relationship she will always be fearful of when the man will turn abusive.
If she were to marry or have a long term relationship with a man in his feminine and not abusive she is likely to become the mum in no 2.

In all 3 of these examples, the girl/woman’s core energy is feminine, the results will be different to one who has masculine core.

When masculine energy (Fight or flight) is triggered in someone who’s core energy is feminine it also triggers adrenaline and cortisol in the body, (stress hormones) which is natural and all good for self protection. When they are in their masculine most of the time the body creates adrenaline and cortisol faster than can dissolve it leading to a lot of tiredness or fatigue.

Emotional wounds and results of all these can be healed and put in the past.