The Power Of Communication In Relationships: Insights From Tyler McAdams

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (00:04.438)
G’day and welcome to the latest episode of Relationship Revolutions where this week I’m joined by my guest Tyler McAdams who is based over in Arizona in the States and he runs a business called Inspiring Fathers so…

Tyler McAdams (00:21.645)
Yeah, I know I’m grateful to be here. appreciate you reaching out in my community and that I have on Instagram and Touch the base with me and let me know let me be on the podcast. I’m doing great, man I’m doing fantastic. So it’s exciting to be here,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (00:22.474)
Welcome along, Tyler, and first two questions, how are you? And well, I’ve already answered one of them for you, which is where are you? So, how are you doing today,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (00:46.686)
Excellent. So when I have these conversations with people like yourself and think back to when I was in school, then you go through all the careers office with the interviews of what you want to be when you’re leaving school and the kind of thing you’re doing, It was never an option. So I’m guessing there’s some kind of life experience or backstory behind it.

Tyler McAdams (01:15.415)
Yeah, for me, I created the brand that kind of, being a father, I was married for 10 years, divorced. I knew her half my life, basically. I’ve known her half my life, but I divorced, we divorced about four years ago, had three kids together, and then six months later, I had…

Another, I found out that my newest gal, I moved on too quickly, so to speak. I moved on too quickly, found somebody else. We ended up finding out she was pregnant and it created a whole mess of things of like, cause I wasn’t ready to take on that role. She had three kids. I ended up taking on a whole role of just six kids at once, so to speak.

trying to make this work and all this other stuff and it just ended up too much so I didn’t heal myself. I didn’t take the time to heal myself after the split and after the divorce, so to speak, was going through that process. But in the meantime, and that relationship didn’t work out either. The second relationship that I got into, it didn’t work out. I have a two-year-old daughter, two and a half-year-old daughter, so it’s been a while. We tried, but it was tough. And so I built this community that I’ve built and

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (02:12.993)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (02:38.615)
You know, my goal was to kind of reach out to other fathers that have gone through divorce or gone through struggle, inspire fathers to show up for their kids. Because when my father was eight years old, you know, he basically I haven’t spoken to him. You know, I I’ve made it a mission to in my life and when I had kids to really focus on them and be present and show up for them. Right. So I noticed that there wasn’t I’ve noticed a lot of fathers around that didn’t show up for their kids. They didn’t they just didn’t.

They didn’t know how to show up. They didn’t understand how much presence and power they provide. So, what I’ve done is I’ve basically…

tried to just take ownership of it, been real with my stories and the way I’m promoting this and just been understanding of like, hey, this is something that needs to happen. As more men need to come together and realize the power that they have on their children’s lives. And in the sense of, they build the discipline, they build the confidence, give daughters, sons, all this stuff. They are the glue that gives them that, their kids that…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (03:35.916)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (03:49.322)
leadership mentality or that confidence and that ability to grow and understand that they have somebody next to them. for me, my mom has been my sidekick forever. She’s been the one I’ve been going to and I love her dearly and I certainly am grateful for the things that I had a stepfather growing up but I wasn’t as close to him. But I am grateful for his guidance as well that he provided. So it’s just a matter of life experience.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (03:53.633)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (04:09.004)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (04:18.124)
through this journey that I’ve had and I’m just expressing it and reaching out and realizing that there’s a lot of people that have had similar journeys in a ways. But I think we just need to always talk about it. I think it’s important that we talk about those things.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (04:32.094)
Yeah, 100%. It’s, and I think there’s a lot of people that grow up without that dad influence. And they don’t know what they don’t know, firstly. And I think that’s something that’s sadly going to get worse with the number of single parent households.

Tyler McAdams (04:53.259)
Sure. Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (04:55.668)
And where do they learn it from if there aren’t groups like yours?

Tyler McAdams (05:02.283)
Correct, yeah, and that’s the thing I’ve been able to build myself, rebuild myself through this process, you know, with different tactics that I’ve been able to do and come out of this okay. A lot of fathers, when they get to that point of divorce, it’s stressful, it’s scary. You know, I remember feeling lost. I didn’t know where the heck I was like, my gosh, how am gonna find somebody? Of course, yes, I found somebody kind of quickly, but initially I was like, I didn’t know where to go. I had no idea what to do, I didn’t know.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (05:28.278)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (05:31.037)
what I needed to do. Of course, I’ve never been the one to go to vices like drugs, alcohol, things like that, where I know a lot of fathers and lot of men just go to that route just to drink the pain away or whatever it is. And I’ve never been the one that would do that. I don’t care for that. But the problem is I chased a woman, right? I chased a woman, so that’s another way of vice, right? I was like, I gotta have some security.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (05:38.572)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (05:58.451)
I gotta find somebody that I could partner with and a lot of men do the same thing, right? A lot of men will go and chase another woman or another relationship thinking that’s the security blanket they need to make themselves feel love for themselves. But in the reality of it, it comes down to, and the thing I’ve experienced is that you have to love yourself before you could actually be into another relationship. You know what I mean? You’re gonna have struggles and look, I’m not.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:01.707)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:08.054)
Yeah, try and…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:13.302)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:22.304)
Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Tyler McAdams (06:26.782)
perfect even now. Like I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m not a perfect person. know, I’m still always growing it. Everyone’s still growing. Even the coaches that you have in life, like you’re still growing. You’re still, they’re still growing. They’re still building. They’re still, they go through struggles. They go through different things. You know, we always are learning and trying to evolve. And I think that, you know, there’s different seasons, right? And there’s different seasons from fatherhood and

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:30.281)
I don’t think anybody is.

Tyler McAdams (06:53.34)
and financial pressure and all these things, but it magnifies when you’re a single father even more. And a lot of fathers don’t understand that there’s help out there. They don’t know where to go. I love being that outlet. I love being that inspiration of positivity to give them that, hey, you’re okay. We’re all right. We’re here. You’re not alone. I think it’s important that that message is spread consistently.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (06:58.336)
Yeah, definitely.

Tyler McAdams (07:22.802)
And I think, know, from the feedback I’ve gotten is, man, like, I’ve needed this today. I appreciate your page. Your content is very positive, inspiring. It’s a, you know, the love is great. can’t express how much I appreciate everything because it just, that’s me expressing myself, right? Of how much positivity that people need, you know? Because you get down in the dumpsters days that you just feel.

You feel stuck, right? You feel stuck as a person, as a man, and you don’t know where to go, you don’t know what outlet to take. We keep a lot of stuff ourselves inside of ourselves and don’t ask for help. We don’t want to reach anything out for help anyway, because it’s our ego and our pride that gets in the way of it, you know what I mean?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (08:05.386)
Yeah, and some of that I think is actually conditioning from an early age that asking for help is a sign of weakness, which is wrong. And we got taught not to be vulnerable, which is all very well and good. But the conversation I have with my clients is, where are you more vulnerable? In the comfort zone or out of it? And every time they say, out of it, okay, well, what’s it take to get outside that comfort zone?

Tyler McAdams (08:29.886)
Yes.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (08:34.87)
Courage. so it takes courage to be vulnerable. So courage is a weakness, is it? No.

Tyler McAdams (08:45.66)
Well, yeah, mean, lot of it, but a lot of people think courage is a weakness. You’re right, you’re 100 % right. mean, courage is, I mean, it takes courage to get on a camera and video yourself, you know, because you don’t want the backlash of, what is everybody gonna think of me? It takes courage to ask questions, because what if it’s the wrong question? What if it’s a poor question to ask? But there’s no stupid question, really. I mean, you can let other people bash you and say whatever they want, but at end of the day,

It’s an answer you needed. It’s a question you needed to have answered. It doesn’t matter. And I think a lot of people just don’t have that self-security inside themselves to just be vulnerable like that. I agree with you. You have to have some vulnerability in life. If you want to grow and you want to get to another, if you have a goal to get to a level that is above everybody else and make a big impact in your life for everybody else,

You have to get out of your comfort zone and if you want to find a solid positive relationship, you have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to look and you have to yourself. You have to find yourself first and then you have to understand what you want, you know, and it’s not going to be as clear. You know, it’s not going to be perfect, but you just got to find somebody that you can trust with. You got to look in the heart, man. You got to look at the heart. That’s the biggest thing. Find somebody that has a good heart, a good.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (09:58.091)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (10:14.419)
good head on the shoulders is best, and that actually supports you through thick and thin, not just says it. So that’s one of the things I would say.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (10:22.144)
Yeah.

And one of the questions that I ask the guys when I work with them, and it’s one that catches nearly all of them off guard. And that it, because we all have our ideal partner or we can describe what we’d ideally want and all this other. And say, well, that’s great. But who do you want to be in that relationship? And almost every time it’s like, I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.

Tyler McAdams (10:53.382)
Hmm.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (10:54.272)
Well, who do you want to be? Think about it.

Tyler McAdams (10:59.08)
Well, I think you want to be a calm leader, I think. I think a calm leader, you want to be somebody that can take care of your family, can take care of the relationship, can lead them to anywhere they want to go and just really be that supportive person. think that’s the biggest thing. I think it’s really, it is a tough question. It’s a deep question, right? It’s a deep question to ask.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (11:25.964)
Oh yes, I have lots of those.

Tyler McAdams (11:29.0)
And I think you have to realize that you can answer it in many ways, right? You can answer that question in many ways, but you do have to think about where you want it. When I got into, I’m in a new relationship myself right now, and my thing was, okay, what do I want to be in this relationship? I want to be somebody that not only is loving, caring, and you know.

positive and uplifting and supportive of them, right? But also, what do I want out of it too? You know, gotta think of, you gotta ask both ways. What do you want out of it? You want somebody that just, again, men just want respect and appreciation. That’s all they want, and support. It’s not a lot. We don’t ask for a ton of stuff, right? We don’t ask for, you know, the moon and the world. We just ask for simple things. Like, we’re pretty simple creatures.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (12:20.332)
Hahaha

Yeah, a little bit of respect and a little bit of appreciation and a little bit of sex to good to.

Tyler McAdams (12:25.434)
But when you start.

Tyler McAdams (12:31.239)
Yeah, I mean, yes, that is a benefit too. We all need that too. But at the end of the day, it’s emotional stability, right? I think it’s emotional stability that we look for in a relationship. And I think, of course, if we’re leading that charge of being emotional, stabilized and regulated, you know, that’s part of what we need to be as fathers and as men is we have to be regulated within ourselves. We to fill our own cup. We have to fill.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (12:39.713)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (13:00.079)
are children’s cups with positive outlooks and guiding outlooks. And a lot of single fathers, I think, they rely on their partner, right? When they get divorced and they rely on that, they do this, this, this, and I’m guilty of it too. My ex, I relied on to do all the financial stuff and the bills and all that stuff, because it was easy for her to do it. For me, it wasn’t. It’s just not something.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (13:10.988)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (13:28.625)
But now I had to take on that responsibility, so I’ve had to learn. But you rely on certain things, but at the same time, you have to get to a point where you’re still regulated in fatherhood. And there’s steps to that. There’s steps to being a single father, being a single parent that you have to take and the actions you have to take, and you have to have that accountability to take those things and be regulated. Because if you’re not regulated, one, your relationship with your kids are gonna suck, right?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (13:49.74)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (13:56.656)
Two, you’re never gonna find a healthy relationship ever. You’re gonna be in complete disf- you’re just gonna keep chasing the same person that you just got divorced from over and over over again. You know what I mean? And I think a lot of people, you have to figure out ways to grow and you gotta find out who you wanna be. Yeah, you’re right. You gotta find out who do you wanna be in that relationship and who do you want them to be. You have to ask those questions, I agree.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (14:08.556)
100 %

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (14:16.694)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (14:23.648)
Yeah, when I was going… Go for it.

Tyler McAdams (14:24.974)
Now when you work through it, I just have a question for you. What did you want to be? How did you answer that question? I’m curious.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (14:31.564)
Um, it’s, well when I first sort of came up with that question, I, it was a result of having grown through all the pain, was like, um, who the hell am I? You look to myself in the mirror, it’s like, okay, who are you? Oh, I’m Alan. Yeah, but that’s just the name on the birth certificate. So, who are you? It’s like.

Tyler McAdams (14:49.86)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (14:56.837)
Just a name. Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (14:59.912)
Okay, I’m a mechanic, I’m this and I’m that and it’s like, put all this shit to one side. What’s left? Well, I’m a spiritual being having a human experience. Okay, what do I want that experience to be? And when I learned NLP, they have this thing called modeling. it’s like, who’s already doing what you want to do? So, okay, that guy over there. I’ll…

model him which is all very well and good but I don’t want to be a clone of somebody else so it’s like and I thought about an interview I heard with the late Steve Clark of Def Leppard years before he said when he was learning to play guitar everybody wanted to play like Jimi Hendrix so they get same guitars same amplifiers same leads same effects pedals learn all of his songs and then they go for a jam with their friends and they say

Tyler McAdams (15:39.671)
Hmm.

Tyler McAdams (15:46.595)
Yes.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (15:55.084)
And one of the other guys says, okay, let’s play something in the key of C. And he’s like, what? Can we play some Jimi Hendrix? Because he can’t play anything else. He said, so the best thing to do is get that bit from Hendrix, that bit from Led Zeppelin, that bit from Deep Purple, that bit from whoever other bands are, and create your own expression through. So, okay, I wonder if I can do that as a man. So I was like, okay.

Tyler McAdams (16:04.526)
Wow.

Tyler McAdams (16:13.102)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (16:24.712)
where are these influences? Well I like this part of me that I’ve been all along. I like that part of my dad and that bit from Tony Robbins and that bit from James Hetfield and Metallica and mix it all up together and…

create a new version of myself. It’s like, who do I want to be as a dad? Well, I want them to look up to me and respect me, but I also want them to know that they’re safe with me. How am going to do that?

Tyler McAdams (16:56.362)
Yes. Yes.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (16:59.164)
And one of the conversations I had with a married couple when I was trying to make sense of everything, I remember the husband saying, well, one thing I would recommend is my calm is her calm. So, what? You mean what’s going on in you causes something going on? That doesn’t make sense. He says, no, no, no, think about it. If I can explode

with anger or any other rage or whatever emotion or burst into tears at the tiniest little thing, she’s going to walk around on eggshells trying not to let me have an emotion. And she’s not going to feel safe, she’s going to feel scared. So, okay. So when I’m all of those things in her head are calm as well. That makes life easier. I like that idea.

Tyler McAdams (17:42.425)
Yes.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (17:57.632)
So I wanna be calm. And which goes back to what you mentioned earlier about being emotionally regulated.

Tyler McAdams (18:00.1)
Yeah. Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (18:05.751)
Yes.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (18:06.764)
then it’s like, okay, I need to learn this because I have not got a Scooby Doo.

Tyler McAdams (18:12.835)
And that’s one of things is you have to have those tools to regulate. You have to understand what you gotta do. mean, breathing is a positive thing to do. Journaling is another positive thing to do. Working out is a positive thing to do. Those things help you regulate. Those are just some of the tactics that help you regulate. But like, you have to have those calming regulations because if you don’t let that, if you’re gonna let it out on your kids or your spouse or your newest relationship,

you’re never gonna, it’s not gonna be good, it’s not gonna be successful, right? You’re gonna have issues where you have to calmly regulate, you have to calmly express yourself in different situations. And it’s not easy, it’s easier said than done, right? It’s easier because we all have emotions, we’re all human, we all have stress and times, we all have overwhelmingly of things that come up and frustrations that something didn’t work out the way you wanted it to work out and.

It’s inevitable. It’s one of those things where you’re gonna go through that as a parent, as a father, as a man, as a woman, doesn’t matter what you are, you’re gonna go through that. we have to find ourselves through the mud of that and understand that it’s okay, there’s people out there that’ll help you get there. There’s ways you can get, there’s a solution for everything. Don’t look for problems, look for solutions. I always say that. Don’t look for problems, look for solutions.

And someone like yourself, you’re a solution because you’ve been through it. You’ve been through the experience of a challenging marriage and you’re realizing how difficult that is. But then you’ve also experienced single fatherhood and growing and you got twins, you said. So it’s like you’ve been through a lot yourself and your story is impacting somebody else. Just like my story impacts other people, right? And we all have a story to tell.

It’s just a matter of having that courage, going back to the courage part of sharing it with the world and understanding that that’s gonna help somebody be better and be stronger for whatever season they’re going.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (20:22.516)
Yeah, yeah, because when I’ve initially when I was going going through it’s like I can’t tell anybody about this I don’t want anybody to know that I failed because there’s so much stigma or they certainly used to be so much stigma around divorce like it’s fake it means you failed well no the relation it hasn’t failed nothing’s failed yeah okay it didn’t work out it was probably never going to

Tyler McAdams (20:33.921)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (20:46.422)
Yeah. Right.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (20:51.564)
Especially when I reflected back and thought about that little voice in my head that says, this is wrong, you don’t wanna do this. Yeah, shut up, shut up, the wedding’s paid for, the guests here, shut up.

Tyler McAdams (21:01.411)
Yeah, yeah.

Tyler McAdams (21:06.635)
Yeah, yeah, I mean, if you have those questions in the mid, if you have those questions upfront like that, yeah, listen to your gut. Always listen to your gut. Listen to that little voice in your head, whatever it takes. That’s something that I’ve learned the hard way myself is you gotta listen to your gut. My ex-wife, she would always, we were best friends for a long time and we knew each other, but.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (21:19.222)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (21:35.299)
I felt like the marriage put a lot of pressure on our relationship more so, right? And I felt like it was always calling for a divorce from me, right? For every couple of years and I didn’t understand why. I’m like, why? We just had kids. We just had two kids. Why are we doing this? Why are you wanting to get divorced every time we get an argument, right? Of some random thing. And it just creates a lot of pressure.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (21:38.379)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (21:47.916)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (22:03.542)
You know, back then I was like, I just, you can kind of feel marriage is work. Any relationship is work. Fatherhood is work. Working on yourself, working your relationship with yourself is work. You know, it takes work and effort and it’s a matter of if you want to make that happen or not. But I think a lot of people will just get lost in the, I’m going to say, I’m going to take the safe route. You know, I’m going to do it and go for it take the safe route where you got to just go with what your gut says and just fight through.

the safe route per se just because it feels good at the time. You know what I mean? I went to the relationship, my recent baby mama, so to speak, with her and said,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (22:38.924)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (22:49.067)
I wanted to feel safe, I wanted to feel that safety net. I wanted to feel that route. But even though I knew it was probably, I was acting out of desperation in that relationship. Not to say I didn’t feel the sparks or anything like that, you fall into those things where you just, you fall into it, it’s a trap, right? It’s a trap, you’re like, man. And then I’m like, sitting there like, shoot, what did do?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (23:16.16)
Hahaha.

Tyler McAdams (23:17.378)
You know, it just there’s things that we don’t connect on or there’s actions that aren’t taken by. You know either side right and the trust is broken and all that stuff just kind of. That kind of goes away.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (23:27.894)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (23:31.946)
Yeah, I remember talking to my parents years ago before I even got married about relationships and things. I said, well, how do you know when you meet the one? you just know. I thought, okay, interesting. So first girlfriend that comes along, you get all those butterflies and the infatuation feeling is this must be it. Two weeks later, it’s over. It’s like, was crushed. Next one.

Tyler McAdams (23:55.265)
Yeah.

Yeah, that’s honestly that’s how I felt after my divorce of that relationship I said wow this is like she matches maybe every which way I want you know look like she was a mirror of exactly the wool person I want but then things come around and You kind of start seeing kinks in the armor so to speak of like okay and not all of that might have been true, right and You know it sucks. It definitely sucks cuz you

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (24:01.449)
Same thing.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (24:26.049)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (24:26.739)
As us, I mean, I’m a very trusting person. Like I’m a very, when somebody says something, I believe it. And I found out the hard way many times in business. I found out the hard way many times in relationships that us with good hearts, and I’m not trying to be, I’m not trying to ego drive myself or anything like that. I’m just saying like us people with good hearts, like you have a good heart. I could tell that.

you would get run over sometimes and you just trust too easily and then you get burned because people want that. People want those kind of feelings that we give off, right? And that trust that we provide and they don’t have it themselves. So it’s an insecurity that they prey on us to get for themselves. And that’s why we get kind of.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (25:08.33)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (25:18.326)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (25:22.194)
in this position and these predicaments where we’re talking about on a podcast right now that how to get through that, right? And that there’s a lot of people out there that have good hearts, good spirits. And I’m not saying that people that are praying on those don’t have bad spirits or good spirits or anything either. They just have a different language than we speak. You know what I mean?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (25:31.211)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (25:43.22)
Absolutely. Yeah, one of us has iPhone programming and the other one has Android. They’re both smartphones, they both do the same things. They just wire differently and that’s cool.

Tyler McAdams (25:50.985)
Exactly.

Tyler McAdams (25:55.617)
Yeah, and that’s okay. There’s a person out there for them that would understand them and how to… Exactly, it just wasn’t us. And that’s okay. I think with… And here’s the point. I think it kind of brought my attention to this topic of if you become a single father, One, don’t rush to a relationship. Obviously, I’ve kind of touched on that. But two,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (26:03.468)
Yeah, it’s just not me.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (26:21.983)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (26:25.546)
Just realize there’s somebody out there for you, right? There’s somebody that’s gonna come in your life that is out there for you that is gonna make your life stronger, better, and that’s gonna wanna support you in the guy anyway. And just, you have to trust that process. You can’t rush the process. You can’t make yourself feel insecure and feel depressed that I need to go do all these drugs. Just don’t, I encourage any man out there

any person out there, just don’t go those routes because it doesn’t, it’s all temporary. Everything is temporary in life. Everything is temporary. And look, there’s been days where I’m like, ah, man, I don’t know what to do. I’ve struggled. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost. I’m overwhelmed. You know, father, being a single father, even though I’m a really present dad, it gets overwhelming at times. I’m like, I just need a break. Even though I only have them 50 % of the time.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (26:57.132)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (27:16.746)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (27:21.897)
There’s times that you still need a break. You just get tired. You’re like, my gosh, the routine. Like I wish I had a support system and the partner and to help me and all these things. But I’ve learned over time, like you just have to be able to stay strong through it and understand that there’s, it’s a process. You have to guide, guide through it and take people like us that been through that and know their steps and know the steps. We know the steps to take to get yourself onto the other side.

And that’s the biggest thing I would say.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (27:53.716)
Yeah, I think one of the hardest lessons I had was after the separation and divorce, admittedly our communication up until that point was absolutely atrocious. And you think, okay, now we’re not together, it’s gonna change. No, it’s not.

Tyler McAdams (28:17.183)
No it doesn’t. I I’m still struggling with my co-parenting a little bit here and there with my ex, ex-Wi-Fi. I struggle a lot. We don’t have a good relationship.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (28:25.184)
Yeah, and I think if, a lot of the time, if you have that great communication skills in the first place, you’d be able to talk through the issues and process them and work through them and get out on the other side of it and you probably wouldn’t be divorced.

Tyler McAdams (28:40.735)
100%. There’s a reason you get divorced. There’s a reason. There’s a hundred percent reason. And it goes on both sides. I’m not saying I’m the perfect communicator at all. mean, I will wholeheartedly admit that. There’s things I have to improve on my end. But at the end of the day, yeah, that is why you get divorced is most likely the communication side of things. And I think that’s another reason. And to point on that, the communication, I always talk about communication.

because I think that our language and what we say and how we communicate with others and just being open and transparent, it goes to our children too. You have to communicate to your kids, you have to be open and have conversations with them that no matter what, you don’t have to go depth with them when they’re younger, but you wanna have that level of communication that they understand what you’re doing, where we’re going.

you gotta lead them and guide them to understand it, because they wanna know too. At least my kids do, because they like to know what’s going on, they don’t like to always be surprised. And it helps that bond create stronger. So it’s not just a relationship with your girlfriend, your spouse, whatever it is, it goes with your kids too. You have to have those relationships at a deep level as best you can with them too in communication.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (29:40.821)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (29:58.954)
Yeah. And it all goes back to that relationship you have with yourself because you take yourself to every relationship. That’s the part most people overlook.

Tyler McAdams (30:10.91)
Correct. have to, you have to have feed positive things into your mind. That’s one. I would say that’s the number one thing in my opinion. When I feed you with things in my mind, then the positive thoughts spin in my head. Because what is the number? I think there’s 85,000 thoughts that go, negative thoughts that go through your head every day as a person. a, you know, I saw a crazy number. can’t remember the, don’t quote me on the number, but it was very high. And I was like, it makes sense. I mean, it makes sense. Think about, I mean,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (30:31.084)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (30:40.529)
How do you combat that? Well, you have to combat it with positive thoughts to balance it out, right? You can’t just sit there and let those spin in your head and then it just makes you feel worthless, you know? And you have to love yourself first. You have to tell yourself, you have to believe in yourself. And I think after divorce, after separation, or after a relationship ending, after you fall out of love with somebody, you feel worthless. You feel like you’re,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (30:53.547)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (31:10.525)
You feel a sense of self-doubt. You feel a sense of just, you you screwed it up and you feel ashamed, you feel embarrassed. I mean, you have all those emotions, right? You feel those things and they’re deep and you just, you don’t know how to overcome them. But you have to understand that there is a side to it where you’re gonna have to put in the work to overcome it. You can’t just hope and pray. I hear a lot of people.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (31:23.627)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (31:39.39)
I’m hoping for this, I’m praying for this. And when you use that language, and I’ve caught myself like, hey, hope you have a great day. No, make it a great day. Actually, you gotta use it to where you’re actually making it a great day. Don’t hope you’re having a great day. Just make it good. Because when you hope and pray, yeah, that’s great too. But realize that’s not all you have to do. You have to actually take the action to change the outcome. You have to take the action to change the outcome.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (32:03.243)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (32:08.721)
So I think a lot of people fall trap to that too.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (32:11.7)
Yeah, definitely. And I think a lot of people read things like The Secret and The Law of Attraction, which is fantastic, but it overlooks the fact that the word action is part of attraction.

Tyler McAdams (32:27.005)
That’s great, yeah, that’s very true. When you take action, you’re gonna attract, when you take good action, positive action, you’re gonna probably attract positive outcomes, right? You’re going to, it’s like when you create positive momentum on anything, know, like think of a snowball for a second, you know, it’s a snowball effect. You’re gonna have, how’s it get bigger? Well, it just rolls down the hill, because it’s got a big momentum swing down the hill, you know, so it’s like, you just have to realize that life is,

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (32:28.46)
You

Tyler McAdams (32:57.636)
I think we over complicate life a lot, right? We do, over think things, we over complicate things. We wanna make, because we all wanna hit everybody to hear our side of the story. Everybody wants to hear.

Everyone wants somebody to hear their side of the story or their victim, what they went through in their process. And it’s important to present it with the world. It’s important to present it to other people because it gives perspective, right? But we can’t let it drown us as a person and live in that victim mentality forever either. Because if you live in that victim mentality, you’re likely never going to attract, you’re never going to, yeah, you’re never going to attract who you want to attract. You’re going to attract negative

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (33:34.922)
You stay there.

Tyler McAdams (33:42.928)
situations, right? And look, I’m not saying I’m always positive all the time. There’s days where I’m just like, man, screw this, right? That’s just tough. You have to be realistic in everything. think anybody you ask is not always positive. You have bad days, have sucky days, where you wake up with the blues in your head where you just don’t right, you don’t feel good, but don’t take it out on somebody else if you feel like that, you know?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (34:11.308)
That’s what guitars are for.

Tyler McAdams (34:12.765)
find a way to… Yeah, then you’re just putting fuel on fire, right? You just put more fuel on fire and creating yourself a bigger drama, dramatic situation that really isn’t necessary. It’s just that you’re affecting somebody else’s life at that point. And that’s one of the things I think we have to remember as people and humans and men and all these other things is that think about what you’re doing before you do it. Don’t just react. If you could find a way to take a…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (34:23.338)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (34:42.266)
breath before you say something, do it. Take the 10 seconds, take the 10 minutes, whatever it is, take the time as best you can to think things through before you react. That goes with my co-parenting, that reminds me, I know I keep talking, but it goes with my co-parenting of my ex will just go, go, go, go, go, go and just nonstop text after text after text. I’m like, my gosh, I just got 10 text messages in a row.

of just garbage, just garbage. I’m like, I’m like, dude, like what? And then I’ll respond. My goal is, all right, I’m not gonna respond with.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (35:16.534)
What’s the point?

Tyler McAdams (35:26.204)
drama back. I’m not gonna just say something. There’s been a few times I’ve done that, because I’m like, gotta defend myself here. But there’s been a few times where I’ve done that, but at the same time, I’m like, all right, just respond with kindness. Just respond with a basic boundary response. Don’t overreact. Just say, you know what, I’m sorry you feel that way. Work through your emotions and then we can talk later or something like that. You know what I mean? Just kind of.

you have to present it to where you have to put it back on them to think things through because they’re gonna attack you. That’s on them. That’s their insecurity showing. And I feel like, you know, I’ve had to learn that. I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Don’t overreact, don’t over-respond. Think things through clearly on your end, control your emotions, because then that helps them control their emotions at the end of it. You know what I mean?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (36:17.994)
Yeah, and I think it’s always useful to understand that men and women process emotions very, very differently. Because what we tend to do is…

Tyler McAdams (36:28.123)
That’s a point.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (36:31.68)
Feeling comes in, okay, I need to do something, we take action, whatever it may be.

women talk about it.

Tyler McAdams (36:42.747)
Mendo.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (36:43.464)
Men don’t. And it’s like when I was married to the kid’s mum, she’d bring all this stuff to me, go blah blah blah blah blah. I like, what the hell? Don’t shoot me. And I didn’t get it. And it’s almost like we didn’t speak the same language even when we were. It’s like sometimes she’d be saying, you need to, I need you to be strong. So, okay.

Tyler McAdams (36:58.862)
Yeah. Sure.

Tyler McAdams (37:07.16)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (37:12.138)
I’m off down the gym then. Not what she meant, but that was my interpretation. Whereas with Hannah now my partner, if she comes to me with an emotion, I know she doesn’t need me to do anything if she does, she’ll ask. She doesn’t need me to fix anything. She just wants me to listen and give her that space to vent that emotion and get it out of her system.

Tyler McAdams (37:30.799)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (37:42.56)
And then she’s like, that’s better. Is there anything else? And then she comes off with load more stuff and then that goes through and she’s like, I feel so much better now. Cool.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (37:57.216)
give her a hug and it’s totally different.

Tyler McAdams (37:57.722)
That’s good, Yeah. Yeah, it is totally different. But you have that communication up front, You didn’t, you just, were able to express that to each other up front and not make it a bigger problem than it would be normally, right? And that’s the struggle with, I think, relationships in general is like people struggle to…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (38:05.803)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (38:14.805)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (38:23.907)
just have that upfront communication and be realistic and be authentic about it. And they just want to create a, they just want to create drama. They want to create a pathway to fight. And I’m like, it doesn’t make sense to do that. You know what I mean? just, what’s the point? You’re just creating, your life’s going to be a hard life to live. You you’re just creating emotional drama and trauma. And that’s kind of where you have to grow from.

And that’s something that as fathers we have to grow from. Think about it as a refreshing start for yourself, right? I think you probably could relate to that. You’re starting fresh. And think of it as a positive. You’re starting fresh. Okay, well you got out of that toxicity of that negative relationship where you were fighting all the time, arguing all the time, where you didn’t have good communication, whatever it is.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (39:04.812)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (39:19.491)
Start fresh and figure out how you can navigate to a more positive person and attract more positive person. What actions can you take, as you said earlier, to attract that person? And get the help you need, get the guidance you need, accountability you need, and go take the action to do it. That’s the number one thing I would say.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (39:24.47)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (39:30.698)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (39:41.196)
Have you ever read a book called The Keys to the Kingdom by Alison Armstrong?

Tyler McAdams (39:46.541)
I have not actually, I’ll have to check that one out. The keys to the kingdom.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (39:47.912)
It’s very good. It’s one that it’s targeted more at women, but it helped me understand quite a lot about myself.

Tyler McAdams (39:56.097)
Okay.

Okay.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (40:01.356)
In that book she talks about the main couple and their relationship. When we first got together with Hannah, I said, look, I’m on this journey of growth. It’s non-negotiable, it’s not gonna stop. I’d recommend you do some growth as well so that we don’t grow apart. And she didn’t get put off by that, but she just saw that as a good start. And I said, would you mind if I shared a book with you? She says, no, I like books. I thought, fantastic.

Here’s a book called Keys to the Kingdom. That will describe the kind of relationship that I’d like to create. And in there, she says there’s five stages that men go through. And she explains stage two first, which is the night, like Sir Lancelot and all the Knights of England back in the day.

Tyler McAdams (40:37.302)
Mmm. Interesting.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (40:56.278)
They’re out for adventure, the next challenge, the next mission, the next girl, whatever it is. They cannot settle down because they’re after an adventure. So, okay, that makes sense. I’ve had times like that. And then she says, the page, which is stage one, is a young boy who wants to be the knight, but doesn’t have the confidence to go too far from his parents. So, yeah, that makes sense because I’ve been there. And says, stage three is a prince.

Tyler McAdams (40:56.696)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (41:25.344)
which is a building phase. He’s had his adventure. He’s got ideas of how he’d like his kingdom to be. And then she says there are two types. One, I’m going to select a lady who I believe will be my queen and we will build that kingdom together as a partnership. And the other one is I know how I want my kingdom to be. I’m going to build it and then I will select a partner.

Tyler McAdams (41:34.613)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (41:46.976)
Okay.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (41:54.952)
Interestingly, the knights can’t commit. The princes who want to build the kingdom first, they can’t commit to a relationship even if they find an amazing woman.

I thought, damn, that sounds familiar. Then she says stage four isn’t really a stages, but it is an experience, she calls it the tunnel, where you kind of gradually wake up, you look at your life and you think, I’m not where I thought I was going to be. And then you start questioning everything, including your own identity, and it just happens to be based around sort of.

Tyler McAdams (42:08.181)
Wow. Wow.

Tyler McAdams (42:28.311)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (42:37.424)
mid-40s about the time that people get guys get told they’re having a midlife crisis and it just happens they can afford the sports car they want to when they’re 18 as well.

Tyler McAdams (42:42.998)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (42:47.233)
Right. Wow.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (42:47.98)
And then she says, a lot of guys come out of that tunnel as a king, saying, okay, I know who I am. I know what I’m interested in. I know I’m not. I’m not wasting my time in the stuff I’m not interested in. And that’s it. And no negotiation. That’s it. This is me. Get over it. And when Hannah read that, it’s like, I can see my ex-husband in there. I can see my son in there. And then,

Tyler McAdams (43:01.965)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (43:05.59)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (43:16.524)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (43:17.0)
Every so often, one of her friends will say something. She’ll be like, haven’t you, why don’t you try this approach instead? And then she’ll catch herself doing something, saying, yeah, hang on a minute. This is how I’d have done it in the past. Now it makes sense, I’m going to do this instead. And we both have a totally different relationship to the ones we had before, which is fantastic.

Tyler McAdams (43:26.901)
Yeah. That’s so good.

Tyler McAdams (43:40.438)
Right.

Tyler McAdams (43:47.831)
That’s good, man. I mean, that’s growth, right? But you attracted that, right? You attracted that by learning how some relationships work and what relationship you wanted, right? You had that vision put in your head, right? You put that vision in your head by, okay, this is what I want, right? This is how I want it. This is what I want to do. And you went for it. You didn’t just sit on the fence. You actually went for it and found it. And that’s the beauty of life, man. The universe will attract what you want, right? The universe will attract what you want out of it.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (43:50.977)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (43:59.67)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (44:17.553)
And you just have to, I think overall, man, we just have to keep growing, keep trying to find different ways to learn new tactics and tips. And that’s powerful right there. I’m gonna have to check that book out. think that’s something I’m gonna check out for sure, because I think it’s a very important, you learn wisdom from other people. You learn different things and those analogies and those things that you’ve built in your relationship now.

That helps somebody understand perspective again. It helps somebody understand that. Just create the vision, create the clear goal that you want. Create the avatar of person that you want to attract. And then that’s where you’re come through, because you’re focused on them. Your RAS is focused on that person. And finding that.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (45:07.562)
Yeah. And also becoming that.

Tyler McAdams (45:12.182)
and becoming that person, yes, yes, 100%. And it’s harder to do, it’s hard to do at times. It’s hard to sit down and push through that pain or that discomfort. But it’s the only way you’re gonna grow. It’s the only way we’re gonna grow, man. So yeah, awesome.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (45:29.356)
What’s your take on all this bro culture stuff I keep seeing coming across my feed on the social networks?

Tyler McAdams (45:40.47)
Bro culture. What do mean by bro culture? guess I’m not familiar with.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (45:45.156)
if I were to say things like fresh and fit podcasts and where it’s a Yeah Yeah, it’s all about sort of you’ve got to go to be successful to get get a good girl and you’ve got got to be physically fit and All girls just want money And all this kind of thing and then they say well would have won’t would have go

Tyler McAdams (45:51.798)
But like the workout, like all the fitness guys and all these guys coming out, yeah.

Tyler McAdams (46:05.098)
Yeah, yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (46:14.89)
girl data got lad who works in McDonald’s and no would a guy data girl and makes it works in McDonald’s or whatever yes because we have different standards and all this kind of kind of jazz yeah okay guys but what are you guys bringing to the table

Tyler McAdams (46:33.589)
Yeah, I would say, I mean, they probably have some insecurities that they have, right? A lot of them, a lot of them have some insecurities. I think it’s positive to promote good physical fitness and obviously your body is the most important aspect. you’re healthy, health is wealth, right? Health is wealth. And I think it’s important that…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (46:37.887)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (46:45.249)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (46:58.357)
I don’t have anything bad to say about them. think that yes, they are a little bit more bravado and a little bit more arrogant at times, right? But at the same time, you know, I think they’re promoting a healthy lifestyle. And I think healthy lifestyle is, is important for us to have, right? Because if you have a lifestyle body-wise and your mind’s most likely going to be fairly healthy as well because you’re consistent and it shows that they’re a consistent person, they’re reliable in different ways. So

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (47:15.35)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (47:29.328)
I wouldn’t say that it’s a bad thing, but I know what you mean as far as like they’re bravado and they’re they’re they’re challenge there. They are a little bit. They could be a little bit too full of themselves, I would say at times, so some of them out there, but some of them are. Yeah, I think they have good hearts and good, good intentions. It’s just a matter of how they promote themselves, I would say. But I’ve seen some good ones and seen some like, I don’t know, man. You kind of seem a little fake. So.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (47:34.015)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (47:57.589)
Yeah, it’s, but I think it’s a, I think that could be for anybody, right? We could all online, you could show the good stuff, right? You could show the fakeness of things or you could show the not reality of things. It’s so easy to do, to not be authentic. And I think we have to be cognizant of that as people. It’s just be yourself, be who you are and share what you’ve gone through. Share what you’re going through and.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (48:13.13)
Yeah, 100%.

Tyler McAdams (48:25.684)
Years ago I started this brand or two years ago I started this brand for a reason is because I think personal brand man is the only way we’re going to get through this next level of life. We have to provide with AI taking over and all this other stuff like we have to build personal brands. have to be somebody. We have to show our lives a little bit and be OK show our lives because our lives are already out there anyway. So it doesn’t matter. Somebody could be offline. Doesn’t matter. Your information is out there. It doesn’t.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (48:40.683)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (48:53.772)
But if you want to be seen and be noticed, more often you’re going to have to be promoting yourself and promoting a brand or whatever. You have to get yourself out there and hopefully in a positive way, not just to do stupid stuff, just to get views or clicks or attention. A lot of people do that too. I mean, obviously it’s entertaining, but it’s not sustainable.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (49:01.865)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (49:06.932)
You

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (49:22.034)
No, no, what sometimes the algorithms and whatnot on these platforms for business owners like us that really out there trying to make a difference and you put a post out that could be life-changing for somebody and it gets a hundred views and that’s okay, nothing wrong with that. And then there’s a young lady who’s wearing not much more than bikini, if anything.

And there’s like 10 million views. It’s like, what?

Tyler McAdams (49:56.624)
Yeah, I mean, you know, they say what sex sells, right? And that’s the thing, sex sells and it’s always going to be that way. I think I think that’s going to be that way. and and that’s that’s just insecurity of things, I think. But yeah, you can’t really you can’t really prevent that at this point in Asia. That’s how it’s going to be for unless they ban it.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (50:04.992)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (50:18.368)
No.

Tyler McAdams (50:23.09)
that way, which there’s too much money involved. I don’t think that’s gonna happen ever. It’s all about money, man. Everything’s about money in life. All about greed, about money, and you just gotta live with it, man. You just gotta do your thing, and your story will help a group of people out there, small, big, whatever it is, it will help somebody, and that’s really the impact that we need to provide and promote is make an impact.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (50:25.484)
Absolutely.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (50:31.382)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (50:52.916)
I always say, I always try to make one impact a day. I impact one person a day. I try to impact one person a day. If I can impact one person’s life every day, throughout the year, I’m a happy guy in that sense because I know I made a little bit of a difference at some point. And if it’s something I said, something I wrote, whatever it is, that’s impact. And you gotta understand the power of it.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (51:21.28)
So when’s your book coming out?

Tyler McAdams (51:25.244)
Yeah, man, I gotta get one out. I gotta get one together. I started working on one. I kind of put a break to it. So I do need to get a book out. It is something that is on my goal list to do. I just got a lot of things happening that I just need to get there and sit and focus on putting a book. But I do need to get one out. think my story has got to be told a little bit and more in depth and just want to create a pathway to give fathers that inspiration to be there here.

to their children’s stories, man. That’s the biggest thing. Never stop, never stop.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (51:57.366)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (52:00.684)
Yeah, that’s the thing. It’s because I wrote my first book back in, well, I started it in 2019, finished, released it in 2020. Great time to release a book when you can’t have a book, book, launch, because everywhere is closed and all that stuff. Great stuff. But interestingly, my aunt and uncle went to over to New Zealand to see my cousin that lives over there.

Tyler McAdams (52:10.618)
wow.

Tyler McAdams (52:15.42)
Yeah, COVID and all that stuff.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (52:29.904)
and I’m walking through I think it was Christchurch in North Island and they saw somebody sat on a park bench reading my book and I said are you sure it wasn’t this other guy called Alan Watts that’s got like all over the place got loads of books out and no it’s definitely you definitely yours because it’s that cover you can

Tyler McAdams (52:30.098)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (52:36.134)
Yeah. Okay.

Tyler McAdams (52:43.846)
Really?

Tyler McAdams (52:55.634)
So I could pick your book up on Amazon then, huh? Do you not promote anymore or?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (53:00.887)
I do promote it sometimes but I can send you a copy if you like.

Tyler McAdams (53:06.204)
Yeah, man, I’d love to check it out. I read quite often. So if you’re able to, that’d be amazing. I’d love to do that. I’d love to read it, man. I’d love to see what you wrote. And I’m sure you got all kinds of powerful tips. And yeah, see the journey, brother. That is awesome, dude. That’s awesome. Yeah. Now you’re inspiring me to push through and finish my book up, because I definitely need to do that. think it definitely is important to have that.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (53:10.634)
Yeah?

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (53:16.468)
You see the journey and make… Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (53:32.604)
gives that authority, that purpose and that story for somebody to understand who you are.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (53:37.866)
Yeah, I hired a writing coach. was so much easier having that accountability. It’s the next chapter done. It’s the next chapter done.

Tyler McAdams (53:46.372)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all need somebody to hold us accountable a little bit. You know, we get lazy, so.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (53:52.362)
Yeah, because initially it was, I got that nice little negative voice in my head saying, you’ll never write 40,000 words, what the hell are you even starting for? And then it ended up being 55,000.

Tyler McAdams (54:04.498)
Ha ha ha ha.

Tyler McAdams (54:09.702)
That is amazing. Wow, dude, that’s so incredible. That’s awesome. Good for you.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (54:13.992)
I can’t edit 15,000 words out of it because they all need to be there. I thought that’ll do me then.

Tyler McAdams (54:20.754)
It’s amazing what we can come up with, right? It’s amazing what our brains can put out there. yeah, man, that’s incredible. That’s awesome. Good for you, man. I love it. I love it. I love it.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (54:22.71)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (54:33.694)
So on that note, obviously you’ve mentioned being on Instagram a few times, so where can people find you?

Tyler McAdams (54:44.347)
Yeah, mean, most of the content I put out there is on Instagram, Inspiring Father, and then I also have a TikTok and Facebook, and then a YouTube as well. All the same, Inspiring Father. So I don’t post a lot on those channels as much, but I really focused on Instagram with the growth channel. But over this year, I will continue growing those other ones, but I just want to focus on one at a time.

at this point because it’s just a, it’s a lot of creating content and building content and things like that. It gets to be quite a bit, right? It’s a lot of, a lot of deals. So no, that’s where people could find me and could always email me or reach out as well through those sites.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (55:23.34)
Yeah.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (55:32.236)
and links will be down in the show notes below as well. final question for you that I ask everybody, I just don’t tell anyone. And that is, as this podcast is called, Relationship Revolutions, from your perspective, what is one thing that would bring a revolution to the world of relationships and dating?

Tyler McAdams (55:42.149)
All right, let’s see.

Tyler McAdams (55:47.6)
Yes.

Tyler McAdams (55:55.665)
What was one thing that before I just think I think where I got to go back to the communication side. I think you have to learn to communicate. think communication is it’s not necessarily a revolution. It per se, maybe. But it’s just it’s it’s understanding that revelation. Right. I think it’s a you have to realize that communication in any relationship you have is going to be the key to having a strong or weak relationship. And that goes to fatherhood. That goes to

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (56:14.27)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (56:25.58)
your spouse, anything like that. think if you can’t communicate with that partner, if your partner, and trust too, if you can’t trust your partner or have that person trust you, then don’t force that relationship. Don’t force that situation, because it’s never gonna last. It’s gonna crash and burn eventually. You may try to fight it forever, but you’re never gonna be happy. Make sure yourself is happy and love yourself first before you kind of…

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (56:37.142)
Yeah.

Tyler McAdams (56:54.692)
bring somebody else into the picture. If that makes a lot of sense, you know what I mean? That’s where I would say. But yeah, that’s what I would probably say.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (56:56.638)
Yeah, it does. And also, I think there’s, you mentioned trust a few times, I think there’s two sides to it. The one side is I trust my partner is not gonna behave in ways I don’t like and do all the things that I don’t want. But I also trust that I am gonna be okay, even if she does.

Tyler McAdams (57:17.295)
Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, I had to learn that lesson on my end. it’s been tough to see, to go through that process of my ex kind of having that, going through that path with herself and all that stuff. It’s hard to definitely hurt me a lot, but at the same time, you just have to learn it’s not your fault and you can’t control the other person all the time.

You just, you have to, yeah, the trust is the thing that, that’s the biggest thing in any relationship is, those two things, trust and communication are the biggest things you can have in any relationship.

Alan Watts – The Love Engineer (57:55.868)
Absolutely. And on that note, thank you for joining me. It’s been an honour and a pleasure and we will keep in touch.

Tyler McAdams (58:04.141)
Yeah same here brother I appreciate it.

All right, Alan, thanks so much,